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Coffee Breaks With ISLM: Vacationing Without My Husband





Coffee Breaks With ISLM: Vacationing Without My Husband


I never thought I'd be writing on this topic ever but something happened a few days ago and it got me thinking... I realized that my vacationing without my husband was actually something that was being talked about by *climactic silence* my own relatives.
So I thought I'd initiate a discussion with anyone who chances upon reading this article of mine...




I vacation with and without my husband which essentially means that there are some holidays that we take as a couple, some holidays that we go on separately with our respective friends and some that we take as a group with our mutual friends. I believe that all three types are important for the well being of a relationship as well as for individual growth... Of course you may see it differently and do feel free to comment on it...

I have been married for 5 years now and before that I had been in a relationship with my husband for 5 years... In a total of 10 years of our being together we have gone on umpteen number of travels and holidays together and individually and that I can say has been the foundation of our relationship... So today when people question my relationship on the basis of my vacationing without my husband makes me want to laugh at first and then look over in concern at probably the mindset that even today people have about a married woman and her individuality.

Every year I take a sisters-only vacation with my baby sister and we go off to experience things that we have never done before like strolling on the promenade in Pondicherry, figuring out the transport system in Rome or camping overnight at the foot of Savandurga. It is something that helps us bond over sisterly stuff, take a break from our stressful lives and most importantly meet each other since we live in different cities. We generally end up shopping a lot, gossiping a lot and doing other random girly stuff... It is a pact that we have made (no boyfriends, no husbands, no children, no friends and no family) and we intend to keep the pact for as long as we live...

Every year I take a holiday with my husband and we go off to experience things that I would normally not feel safe doing, like exploring the Ajanta-Ellora caves, taking a road trip on a Royal Enfield from Pune to Surat via Daman or walking the streets of Kolhapur in the middle of the night in the rain or simply getting lost in the bylanes of Jodhpur's old city and having our auto get toppled in the flood of water gushing down from the Mehrangarh Fort. These experiences increase the mutual respect in our relationship, bring us closer emotionally and simply take some time-off from our daily grinds...

Every year we make a trip to my in-laws place in Delhi and my hometown of Imphal, the former being a pure leisure trip where my mum-in-law spoils us like there was no tomorrow and the latter being another exploratory adventure with my dad taking us to the interiors of Manipur and introducing us to the colorful ecosystem of the lesser-know state of India...

What I am trying to say is that a holiday is a holiday. It should not be seen through a judgemental prism and imagine fissures and cracks in a relationship on its basis.
Traveling for everyone achieves a different purpose and for me its all about growth, individual and of a relationship and I take offense to people making judgements about how I handle my relationship based on a trip that I might have taken with my sister as opposed to my husband.
A married woman is a woman first with her own understanding of what she needs from life. The tag of "married" does not mean that she becomes a conjoined twin to her husband and neither does it mean that she is asking to be judged based on her travel plans...

P.S. The post has come out as a rant more so because I am in shock about how some people still live in an era that still see women as dependent.

Comments

  1. Hahaha can't agree more to this! Actually I too have experienced this when I visit Mumbai sans husband and have to listen to mum-in-law...she thinks I don't like to be with him :D But in the end I just smile and do what I want to do ;)

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  3. WOW!! Though I don't travel A lot, I have done my fair share of trips with just my sister or just alone. Now I am wondering if this equation will change post wedding. Well I guess I will know in a few months.

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  4. Beautiful post! Really nice perspective!

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