Coffee Breaks With ISLM: To Be Or Not To Be
ISLM Writer: Sabista
You spend over one half of your life finding out who you are and what your personality is. Some people are loud and flamboyant, some silent and quiet, some angry and impulsive. Whatever you choose to be is ultimately what you are. Over a course of time, you need to take up responsibilities and new challenges where you are expected to adjust and adapt. Adjusting and adapting is OK but there are certain jobs, responsibilities, duties or people who expect you to change your entire state of being or attitude to fit their needs. Is this right though? Should you change yourself and your personality to fit the requirements or criteria of someone else?
I believe that every person is unique and it takes them a lifetime of experiences and hardships to develop their personality. Every person is the way they are because of what they have been through and at no cost should they settle for a life where they need to change who they are completely to make it work. Adjusting, compromising, adapting; all of this is a part and parcel of life but nobody ever said that you need to completely change yourself. I have seen people who have changed their entire personalities, likes, dislikes etc. to either fit the needs of their husband/boyfriends, boss, jobs, in-laws etc. Compromise is a two way street. A clap will only be a clap if made using two hands. The whole point of being a part of something with someone is meeting them halfway. It’s called halfway because it is meant to be halfway, not the entire way with 3x surge. Changing your life and personality alone to make someone comfortable is similar to paying surge on an Uber cab and the tire getting punctured midway. You’re kind of screwed with the surge bit and in the end, the cab didn’t get you anywhere. You’re just stuck in the middle with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Lost in limbo.
You need to figure out how to strike a balance, find your voice and speak up. Save your soul instead of selling it to the devil and losing your spine. Every individual, no matter how many similarities they may have, are unique and have been through different kinds of issues in life. They’re different and unique and that is why every human is called an individual, because that is what you are in the end. You are strong, independent, different, beautiful and a diamond in the rough. Stop bending over backwards. You deserve to be heard and deserve your share of momentum in life. Everybody is the boss of their own life. Grab the steering wheel and steer your own life. Start calling the shots yourself and stop blaming others for the failures and unhappiness in your life. You cannot live life with regrets. The only person who should be allowed to take the blame for your failures and unhappiness, should be you! Take charge because nobody likes a Cinderella in the 21st century. Everyone wants a Mulan instead.