Coffee Breaks With ISLM: What It Feels Like For A Girl
ISLM Writer: Sabista
As a woman, I have a lot of cravings, especially ones that pop up post-midnight and having a husband who loves to snack too, life is amazing in terms of post-dinner meals. The best part about going out to eat at midnight? Street food! You can wear your PJs and hop into the car and eat inside the comfort of your car. It is so perfect, isn’t it? Not really. We live in a place where food can be sold at midnight, but a woman cannot feel safe consuming it, out in the open, at midnight; even if she is accompanied by a man. We live in a day and age where a woman who gives birth to mankind is rewarded by dirty stares and cat calls.
As a woman, if I am walking alone on the street or am in an absolutely strange area, even if accompanied by someone, in broad daylight, I do not feel safe. Is this the kind of world we envisioned when we decided to stop female killings and give females a place in our world? We enforced laws to make sure a certain kind of meat isn’t sold in the market or certain kinds of films (Ahem! We all know what films are being referred to here…) are banned, but we still cannot enforce laws strict enough to make men, who think about eve teasing or rape, pee their pants. We live in a country where pizza is delivered within 30 minutes but a rape victim gets justice after years of being put through all kinds of mental pressure.
We have “respected” politicians blaming short skirts, chowmein, late night outings, partying etc. for all kinds of misbehavior happening with women, but what happens when women who are fully covered, hijab laden or even burkha clad get stared at like they were ice lollies on a hot summer day? Men say all kinds of shit like, she was asking for it. No! No woman, ever, ever, EVER, asks for it without using words. If she is really asking for it, she’ll get her hands inside your pants faster than you can say ‘blow’, but until she consents to it, she is not asking for it. So stop reading between the lines and use them to woo her instead.
As women, we need to take certain measures ourselves to make sure we’re doing our bit to avoid any unwanted passes. If a man is staring at you and if it makes you uncomfortable, speak up! Look him in the eye and ask him what his problem his. Humiliate him in public enough to make sure he averts his gaze. If someone is sexually harassing you in the work place, make a formal complaint. You cannot take such things lightly, hoping that if you ignore them, they will stop. Your security as a woman is paramount and everything else is secondary. We need to stop being a society which makes slogans for every issue instead of solutions.
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