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Coffee Breaks With ISLM: Till Dishes Do Us Apart

Coffee Breaks With ISLM: Till Dishes Do Us Apart

ISLM Writer: Sabista

As a woman, you are automatically assigned the duty of maintaining the perfect balance between home and professional life. Whether married or unmarried, there are certain responsibilities on you, as a woman, to take care of. You’re expected to be in sync with all responsibilities and be harmonized with everything. Basically, you’re supposed to be the happy and cheerful actresses from TV commercials who wash, cook, clean and handle an entire professional career with a smile on their face. And God forbid, if you are ever having an off day and just want to be by yourself or not so cheerful and just want to be left alone, you are considered to be PMSing.

WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! Women are human beings. We have off days. We have days when we want to spend hours in a bath tub, with a glass of wine and a good book. We have days when the Dal ends up having more salt and the rotis end up burnt. We have days when we don’t want to dress up or wear makeup. We have days when we just want to tie up a messy bun, wear our most comfortable pajamas, put on DDLJ and stuff our faces with ice cream. And no, these are not the ‘ladies problem’ days; these are just normal days when we are tired of being taken for granted for and tired of being reminded of our ‘responsibilities’.

Ladies, there is nothing wrong in wanting a day off and there is nothing to feel guilty about at all. What you do for your family, is something you do out of love, and not because it is a 9-5 corporate job. Your day off should not feel like ‘Jaa Simran Jaa, Jee le apni zindagi’, instead it should be a conscious effort your family makes to give you a break. In olden days, when men stepped out to work and earn a living, the women took care of the house. They cooked, they cleaned, they washed, they soaked, they did every think imaginable to keep their houses ‘sundar and sushil’; but times have changed. Modern day women work, they earn a living too. They contribute to the household expenses and somehow still manage to do the cooking, cleaning, washing and soaking stint. They push themselves harder to achieve desired results, but why?

I recently came across the Share The Load commercial for Ariel and it almost made me cry (OK, maybe here I was PMSing). The commercial spoke of why only the woman should work towards making a house a home. It can be made a joint effort. As a working woman, I say Amen to that commercial but the biggest problem with Indian men is that, they have the attention span of a goldfish! They watch something, appreciate it, apply it for three days and then conveniently ‘forget’. What’s worse is that, WE feel guilty to remind them or ask them for help because it is a woman’s job to handle the house. We feel ashamed to ask them to help because ‘they must be so tired after a hard day at work’. Well newsflash! You work too! You either have a corporate job or you work your ass off to keep the house presentable. So why are you ashamed? Ask him to help! He may not know how to cook, but it is not rocket science to chop. He may not know how to wash, but it is not rocket science to wipe, right?

Take control, be the strong woman you were meant to be. By strong, I don’t mean take on everything yourself. Ask for help, it does not make you look weak or helpless. It only makes you look like a human who needs help and isn’t afraid to ask for it. When you need a team in office to work with, how do you expect to do everything at home all by yourself?

Also, the biggest misconception is that men have a sense of entitlement, which I think is not true in the case of modern men. They’re just lazy bums who need to be annoyed until they get off their lazy (yet adorable) bums and get to work. They love to help because in the end, they want nothing more than to spend time with their better halves.

And if you’re just in the mood where even looking at the kitchen makes you want to break a plate, leave! Take a break! Get your pati to take you away. If you don’t wish to leave the city, just get a hotel room and snuggle up with room service, your laptop and a movie marathon. You deserve it; the both of you deserve it! You are not a machine, neither are you in a concentration camp. Breathe a little. Live a little. You deserve it and nobody in this world can take that away from you. And, if your husband or partner is a tough nut who needs a little nudge to Share The Load, drag them to the movies this weekend and catch Ki and Ka, that will probably put things in perspective and show them a glimpse into the future ;)


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